The process of forgiveness:

1.Do you want to be free of the damage others have done to you so you don’t need to complain any more except in making formal complaints for the protection of others. Continue only if the answer is yes.

2.Was it just that Jesus died on the cross for everyone’s sins? 

3.Do you truly believed Jesus has been judged and punished enough for all your sins, past, present and future ( they were all in the future when Jesus died)?

4.Was Jesus death sufficient to kill your sinful nature too? 

5.Have you experienced your death to sin in Christ and His resurrection power enabling you to do things differently and not sin? 

6.Have you asked God to free others from and compensate others for the consequences of your sin?

7.Has Jesus had been judged and punished enough for the sin of the person who has hurt you? 

8.Was Jesus death sufficient to pay for the sin of the person who has hurt you? 

9.Have you experienced Jesus resurrection power healing you from and compensating you for, the consequences of that person’s sin?

All those things are available but you need to keep praying until you experience them as a reality in your life. And sometimes it may require a prayer battle to hold onto it until it becomes your new way of living. We do not need to keep living as victims of our and others sin! Jesus has paid dearly for the privilege of bearing the costs of all our sin to death so He can replace them with His resurrection life. We need to glorify Him by coming into agreement with Him and living in the fullness of life He paid for.

This does not mean we are whitewashing our or anyone else’s sin, but agreeing with God that what Jesus did for us was more than enough. We may still have to act against someone to stop them hurting others but if we are healed from the damage done to us then we can act out of love rather than a need for revenge and justice.